Xinbar Rage: Fan Made, F Grade

I’ve been watching other game reviewers for a while now. Some of you may know of Yahtzee, creator of Zero Punctuation, and I recently re-watched his review of Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. As usual, he tied the game to a tree and smashed into it was a semi about twelve times until he reduced it to a bloody, quivering mass. Knowing all the Zelda fans out there, some normal and most extreme, I read through the comments. And as I was scrolling through the “OMG HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE THIS GAME?!?!?!” and the “This game was overrated… I enjoyed (insert game name here) more” comments, I noticed quite a few people stating that the reason most Zelda games seemed similar was because Nintendo doesn’t care about what the fans think. They said that the fans should have a say on what goes on in a game and what should be done to make it better.

Now see here: I’m all for the companies listening to complaints from fans…. as long as it has nothing to do with the story. Buggy or stupid controls, crappy camera, etc. those are complaints I can stand behind. What I CAN’T stand behind are a bunch of whiny, sniveling children who want the game’s story to be exactly as they want it and no other way can be as great as their way. As I read through these, there was one guy that really pissed me off. His comment was “why doesn’t Nintendo just let the skilled fans make the game, just grab about 50 fans and have them supervise the development or something. If there is one thing I learned is that the fans will always do a better job then the company will just look at dead fantasy on youtube.” Oh, I am totally going to be the Ronald Regan to his Gorbachev, and this comment is the wall I will be tearin’ down!

Now imagine game developers are a kid in your class, it can be any grade, doesn’t matter. We’ll name him GD for writing’s sake. Now GD loves to draw and write stories, so in class one day, he draw his own little comic of a character who has a fun adventure and ends with a satisfying conclusion. He shows it to his classmates, and they all love it, saying it’s sublime and that he should totally make another one! Folding to peer pressure, GD decides to make another, based off the first character still and going on a similar adventure but with some mild twists and turns to keep it fresh. Again, applause rains down from the heavens upon GD as his classmates once again eat it up, and that’s when he decides to make a whole series of comics. But as the series goes on, people start gaining their own opinion of how the character should act and how he should react to situations. Now let’s see what happens when GD folds to said peer pressure.

The other kids in the class gang around him, pointing out how he should design this character, who the villain should be, how the villain should act, and the other students start fighting with one another, some liking certain ideas, while others hate those ideas. But instead of taking it out on the sources of those ideas, they take it out on poor, hapless GD. GD, the guy who was just trying to make something fun for everyone to enjoy. And if, by some stroke of luck, he manages to finish this most recent work, it will probably be bashed by everyone due to the mix of different ideas that don’t blend well together at all, and in turn will cause GD to never want to do that comic again, even though its first ones were loved by everyone. So instead of getting a game most people will enjoy, we will get absolutely nothing.

Now I’m not saying that fans can’t make a good game. If anything, there have been many out on computers for download that surpass the current games on consoles, such as a Sonic game that I found, and the Mari0 game that involves both element of Super Mario Bros. and Portal 2 is a blast to play. But you can’t have it be anything official, because the moment you do, you start getting the crappy sequels that you “fans” that became game developers wanted in the first place! Sonic Unleashed was all your doing!!! You were the ones who killed my childhood, you rat bastards! What the hell is a werehog and why does it have stretchy arms like its freaking Mr. Fantastic?! When I find you, I’ll gut you like a fish and- ahem… sorry sorry… that was building up for a while now…

Anyway, as for the Dead Fantasy remark, a bunch of women from games fighting each other, though hardly uninteresting, is in no way what constitutes a game. The girls don’t talk, it had virtually no story, and although the fighting animation is amazing, it’s at most a bunch of glorified cutscenes. Comparing creating something like that to creating a game is just asinine, even if it is a kickass concept. So in the end, if you’re a fan who didn’t enjoy a game, don’t blame the game developers for not listening to the game’s fans, because it’s because of you all that we get the steady stream of fecal matter games!

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