The Witcher: Enhanced Edition Directors Cut Review

Due to the release of the second enhanced Witcher game coming out, I thought I’d review the game that started the game series. Now if you’re not familiar with the Witcher, it is based off a series of books and short stories written by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski. The stories follow Geralt, a monster hunter. The game begins with Geralt running away from “something”. He meets up with other Witchers only to find out that he’s supposed to be dead. Unfortunately, Geralt has amnesia, so he doesn’t remember most of the Witcher training which makes way for the game to start you off as a puny little shrimp. After the intro, you are set loose into the magical world of the Witcher.

To start off, the combat system in the game is sort of unique. The best I can compare it to is an MMORPG like WoW. You engage an enemy and click whenever the critical button appears (Or at least that’s what I did). The game has two swords for you, one for monsters and one for humans. I really didn’t get this concept since I believed humans were vulnerable to anything sharp but The Witcher begs to differ! So you’ll fight high and low level enemies and get some boring loot, it’s pretty standard.

However, I want to discuss the inventory system. It’s pretty bad. I hope you like experimenting for 20 minutes to see what does what. It’s very confusing and it really needed to change. I seriously can’t see why the game throws ten billion variants of alcohol at me. I guess it’s because you have to get a s**t ton of people drunk to actually continue the game.

This leads me to my next point, which is the graphics and environment. For the most part the game is pretty enough, but remember, this game came out a few years ago so don’t expect a revolution. The characters aren’t very varied, with the only exceptions being the “important” characters. It really seems that ALL the women in the game have huge cleavages. Now be warned, this next part of the review probably won’t be suitable for children. Now with that said:

One of the big reasons why The Witcher was noticed….was because of the nudity and sexual content. There are two major women in the game who Geralt has to pick between. But that’s not it, not even close. There are so many women to “romance” in the game, it gets ridiculous. The game doesn’t have the standard sex scenes, it has sex cards. These are dirty little cards that you can view anytime in the game. You get them from sleeping with women and they usually have moderate to slightly graphic nudity. That’s pretty much all you’re going to get in terms of sexy time material, so keep in mind that you shouldn’t buy the game just for THAT.

Now one of the major selling points of the game is the choices and consequences. The game makes it very clear that the world of The Witcher is a grey one. There is no morality system. You make choices that affect the game, and then you have to live with the consequences (Many of which are time delayed, so a choice you make in Act 1 may have repercussions in Act 3). There is never a right or wrong choice in this game, you do what you feel is right. This system is fantastic and probably one of the best parts of the game.

Now to make this simplistic, I’m just going to give you goods and bads:

  • BAD: Characters voices are lackluster. Geralt himself sounds very uninterested in anything and is pretty boring. Although there are some who are decent.
  • Characters don’t move much in conversations and even when they decide to move at all, the animations show their cheap, lazy designs.
  • The combat system can get boring, especially when you get the best items in the game.
  • The side quests ARE ALL GO HERE AND KILL TEN OF THESE!! And the kicker is: you can’t do these quests until you research the monster. This usually involves spending lots of money on a book.
  • Alchemy is kind of pointless and you can’t drink potions in the middle of combat so you have to essentially guess when you’re about to get attacked and which potion to use. Considering how there’s at least 20.
  • Endless trudging from place to place. Take note: The map is HUGE. In order to get somewhere, you have to walk for an hour to get a quest or harvest a stupid ingredient for the 50th time!
  • No. F***ing. Directions. You have to literally walk around or check an FAQ just to see how to complete a quest. One time a guy asked me for Dwarven Liquor just to progress the story. The game gave me no directions on how to get it or even what it was called.

 

  • GOOD: The morality system.
  • A somewhat interesting story and lore.
  • The graphics and art direction.
  • The game is MATURE. It doesn’t shy away from drugs, sex, and swearing. Anyone under 18 probably won’t get the game at all. It treats you LIKE AN ADULT!
  • The sex cards……maybe…..depends……stop looking at me like that!

VERDICT: Overall, The Witcher is a damn good game. It’s mature, unique, and interesting. I can easily recommend it to anyone over 18. HOWEVER, if you DON’T like MMORPGs like World of Warcraft, this game might not be for you. The Witcher borrows some elements from those games and it might not appeal to everyone. Although, I have to say that you should at least give it a shot. It’s unique in a world full of bland and brown shooters. So get the EE DC edition on Steam. Seriously, it’s only ten bucks USD. At that price, it’s practically a steal. The Witcher is worth every penny and more. The game is full of violence, magic, difficult choices, and let’s not forget……sex. Sorry, there’s just a LOT of it in the game. So do yourself a favor, and go buy this game.

 

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