Fable II Review

So it’s time to review the sequel to the most overhyped video game in history. What could possibly go wrong? Other than breaking promises, overhyping the game, and calling it the greatest role-playing game of all time. But so far I have not reviewed a game I considered “bad”, and the trend doesn’t change here. So why is it that this overhyped game is good? Read on to find out.


So Fable II takes place roughly 500 years after the events of Fable I. Like the first game you start off as a child (this time you can choose your gender) who has a very fun life of being a worthless street urchin. And once again, you and your sister have to find pieces of gold to buy an object from a very familiar trader. After this you learn from the lord of Bowerstone, Lucien, that you are heroes. Unfortunately, this news leads a very similar tragedy from the first and you are forced to train the rest of your childhood to fight the bad guy and restore avenge the injustice caused to you. To do this you need to find more heroes to defeat the bad guy. Also something that’s important to mention, you are the descendant of the protagonist from the first game and the ever-so loving Heroes Guild was sacked. You and the other three heroes are the some of the last left in all of Albion.


To start off, the gameplay. Now the combat in Fable II is simple and fun. You have X for melee, Y for ranged, and B for magic. You can fluidly switch between the three so magnificently that it’s just damn fun to roast a bandit then shoot his buddy in the balls within two seconds of each other. You can get new weapons and swords and if you’re lucky, you can find special legendary weapons. So you can use the standard sword, katana, hammer, axe, and so on and so on. As for magic you can buy new spells then upgrade them to their max potential. The spells also range from raising the dead to tricking bandits into sweeping the floors.


Now as for the graphics, I have to say that this is one beautiful game. The graphics are lush, vivid, colorful, and varied. Yeah the characters ALL LOOK THE SAME!! Yeah there isn’t really a whole lot of detail. But if you can get past those, you are in for a treat. It really is a treat when you are walking through a forest and then come out to see a shining lake. Also, the weapons aren’t varied enough. You get to choose between rusty swords, bent rusty swords, dirty swords and so on. They really look the same aside from the cleanliness and shape a bit. Not even the legendary weapons look all that impressive.


Now for one of my favorite parts from the game: the sound and music. Like the first game, the music and sound is absolutely ASTOUNDING. If you have a good pair of headphones, you are in to one hell of a treat. The music is some of the best I have ever heard in a game. Probably due to the talent of Danny Elfman. The theme song of Fable II is absolutely amazing. If you buy this game and utterly hate it, I can’t really see why you would hate the sound. So even if you hate this game, I bet you would still love the sound design.


Now on to the things that the Fable series is known for: choices, morality, NPC interaction, etc. Now the choices in this game are in my opinion, better than the choices in the original Fable. The fate of an entire part of Bowerstone literally rests in your hands at the beginning. Although, the choices still aren’t exactly in the grey area. Every choice is still referred to as good or bad. This leads me to the morality system. Now I have to admit, when I first saw the cover of this game, I got pretty stoked about the morality system. The cover portrays a handsome warrior and a demon that literally looks like the devil. So naturally, I went full evil to see how badass I would look. Unfortunately, I ended up looking  only slightly like the dud on the front…bummer. Well also in the new, you now have more sliding bars other than good or evil. Now you can be pure or corrupt. This essentially means do you give to the poor, or do you charge massive amounts of rent and horde money. So this leads to more character models for you other than devil horns and halo.


Now I’m going to talk about something I couldn’t talk about unless I wanted you reading a wall of text the size of the Berlin Wall. NPC interaction in this game is just stupid. I don’t really know why Peter Molyneux really thinks I care about one random NPC who looks and talks like everyone else, other another random NPC who looks and talks like everyone else. Marriage is just pointless, really, I don’t understand why I would want to marry some dumb NPC. So in order to interact with NPCs, you must use expressions, which are little animations you do like farting or dancing. Only this time you can hold down the expression for more NPC liking points. And truth be told, I like this feature because if you fail, you can end up sh*ting your pants or breaking your back while doing a pelvic thrust. But one things I do not understand is that you have to buy expressions from stores…..what? Why the hell do I have to learn how to smile or fart? That’s pretty weird.


Now, I want to dedicate an entire section to bad things. Mainly things I forgot to say. A complaint I have is the boss battles. There really are none. While in Fable I you could fight A FREAKING DRAGON!! In Fable II, you get the same troll over and over again. Same goes for the final boss, which I don’t even think I could consider a final boss or even a boss. Another complaint I have is that while the major characters have improved, they still aren’t that interesting. As with the story, which is pretty bland and generic. But I do have to give credit for the final choice, which actually includes a neutral option.


Now one more thing, the new in Fable II. Since video games really need innovation, I’m going to list the best innovation that this game brings to the Fable series that I haven’t mentioned previously. JOBS!! So no longer do you get paid for quests, so you can get a job! This means you partake in a little minigame in order to make money. And trust me, these minigames get really boring after the second time you’ve played it. MORE SEX OPTIONS!! Yes, you can now have either protected or unprotected sex. So if you were wondering why you kept finding condoms in digging spots…now you know. Also, you can get STDs. DOGGY!! Yes, you now have a faithful hound who will morph with you and find dig spots for you. He will also bite enemies who have been knocked down. Also he can learn expressions which he does along with yours. But overall I didn’t care about him as much as I would’ve liked to. CO-OP!! Now this is where the game really shows its weak spots. The co-op is complete and utter crap. Instead of having your friend join your world with their character and items, they have to choose a henchman. So that’s a really big problem which THEY NEVER PATCHED!! WTF!!!

So in conclusion, Fable II is a good game. I didn’t enjoy it as much as Fable I, however. Although if you’re a Fable fan, you should definitely check it out. Hell, if you think everything I talked about was interesting, you should get this game. This game has fun and fluid combat, amazing sound and graphics, poor story and characters, but is overall a good time. It definitely earns my recommendation. So if you are looking for an RPG with amazing graphics and combat, get this game…and Kingdoms of Amalur. I heard that was good too. And remember kids, the hookers don’t like it if you want to go unprotected, so save those condoms! Trust me, or else you’ll have a weird black kid (not racist).


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